


The Future is Ours

by sigrun1asatru



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-08-18 09:50:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8157896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sigrun1asatru/pseuds/sigrun1asatru
Summary: Picks up post love scene in 3:7 and continues from there. Basically my headcanon because the show's canon sucks.





	1. Chapter 1

The last of the late evening sun shone through Polis tower illuminating the Heda's quarters. Clarke lay with her head on Lexa's shoulder while Lexa lazily ran her fingers over Clarke's back. Clarke had never felt so content or so loved. Didn't even know it was possible until now. The words hadn't been said by either of them but it was unnecessary. They had said them with every tender caress, kiss and adoring look. She reveled it and wished they could lay in this bed forever. Wished they were just two ordinary women with no responsibilities but to love each other. But they weren't. They were the leaders of their peoples and peace had to be secured before moments like this between them were assured. 

Pressing a tender kiss to Lexa's neck Clarke reluctantly broke the spell they had fallen under. "I really do need to go now before Octavia kills me." 

Lexa squeezed her closer for a second before she let Clarke go and they both started to dress. Lexa couldn't help but stare at Clarke in awe still that this magnificent creature felt the same as she did. As a result she was slower in getting presentable again. 

Clarke walked over to her gifting her with a small smile and wrapping arms around Lexa's neck while Lexa's wrapped around her waist. "I said I didn't know where home was but I do now. I think I always did I just didn't want to admit it." She swallowed looking into Lexa's eyes seeing the absolute love that shown there and gathered her courage. "You're home to me. I'm coming back to you. Ill fix the mess my people have caused and I'm coming back. We'll make peace between our people happen." 

Lexa smiled feeling truly optimistic for the first time in a long time. It was hard not to be when Clarke Griffin told you she was doing something. Nothing stopped her when she set her mind to something. It was one of the many things Lexa loved about her. She kissed Clarke tenderly. "Go gather your things I'll finish dressing and escort you to the blockade." She reluctantly released Clarke and watched her leave. The room already felt empty without her blonde goddess gracing it with her beauty. Hopefully the situation with skikru would be solved quickly for her heart was already beginning to ache.


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke walked down the hall towards her room feeling an odd combination of happy and sad. Happy that her and Lexa had finally acknowledged the feelings between them and sad that she had to leave her love. Once again their duty to their people came first. She idly wondered if there would ever be a day where their people wouldn't tear them away from each other. She had to believe that there would be peace, that together they could make their separate peoples one. That one day life really could be more than just surviving for everyone not just stolen moments of happiness. 

With renewed determination she pushed open her door and froze. What the hell? 

"Murphy?" 

Clarke rushed over a million questions running through her mind and started untying Murphy who looked like he'd gotten in a fight with a hundred grounders and lost. A movement behind her made her turn and her stomach turned to knots instantly as a sense of dread took over. 

" I wouldn't do that if I were you." Titus was pointing a gun at her. " I'm sorry it had to come to this but Heda has forgotten her duty with you around."

She knew Titus didn't like her and opposed the new way Lexa was trying to implement but Clarke never thought he'd go this far. She frantically scanned to room looking for something to distract Titus long enough to slip away while trying to talk him down. "Think Titus. Lexa will know it was you."

"She'll think it was him. I found him stealing in the market. Skikru weapon in the hand of a skikru thief. She might even be angry enough to declare war."

Clarke tossed a nearby chair at him and ran her heart pounding. Shots rang around her. She could only hope he was a terrible shot or better the gun jammed. The door was almost in reach just another foot. 

Her heart stopped as the door opened. Only one person would be entering her room. She wanted to yell out a warning but there wasn't time. She glanced down and her worst fears came true. It felt as if the whole world had collapsed under her. Blood was oozing from a bullet hole in Lexa's stomach. Lexa looked at Clarke shocked before collapsing at her feet. 

Clarke jumped into healer mode immediately. "Help me get her to the bed." Once Lexa was laid out Clarke untied Murphy. "I need something to stop the bleeding and clean the wound." Murphy grabbed a bowl of water and rags sitting them on the small table beside the bed. "Put pressure on the wound I'll be right back." She stepped into the hall calling for the guards. 

Two burly grounders entered the room looking in shock at the injured Heda. They pointed their weapons at Murphy obviously thinking the skiboy was responsible. Clarke stepped between them and Murphy. "Titus shot the Commander. Confine him to his quarters until Heda can decide what his fate is. Bring your best healer. Heda is not dying today. Can someone please find Octavia and bring her here as well." 

The guards looked to their commander "Do what Wanheda asks." With a nod they both left to compete their tasks. 

Clarke walked back to the bed taking over from Murphy. The blood wouldn't stop flowing and Lexa's breathing was becoming more erratic. 

Lexa's shaky voice made Clarke look up. "Don't be afraid. The next Commander will protect you."

"I don't want the next Commander. I want you."

Lexa shook her head. "There's nothing you can do now. I can feel it. Ai gonplei ste odon."

"You are not dying. I'm the Commander of death and I won't let you." Her voice changed from determined to loving, pleading "We've just started our life together Lexa. You're not allowed to leave me again so don't you dare give up."

"I'm not but if I die Titus is the only one who can transfer the flame to the next Commander."

"Okay but you're not dying." 

Octavia entered the room Indra in following behind her. "What the hell Clarke?"

Clarke let Murphy take over while she explained things to Octavia and Indra. "Titus shot Lexa." She ignored Indra's muttered natrona and murderous scowl. "I can't leave not yet." She took a deep breath. "Do you think you can sneak my mom out of Arcadia?"

"Yeah why?"

"It's one thing dealing with a gunshot wound in the shoulder but in the stomach. There are vital organs and I can't tell how badly or if they're damaged. Lexa may need surgery and for that we need my mom. Please O, we all need Lexa to live."

"No problem Clarke I'll be back as fast as I can." 

Clarke was shocked when Indra stepped forward offering her arm in the warriors handshake which Clarke gladly accepted. "You are Wanheda and have proven time and again you are capable of more than anyone thinks. You will keep Heda alive Clarke Kom Skikru." It was said as a statement of fact not a question. Clarke could only nod and turn back to the task at hand.


	3. Chapter 3

Minutes after Indra and Octavia left Nyko entered the room. A sense of dread overcame him when he saw his Heda lying on the bed, Clarke and a skiboy trying frantically to stop the bleeding. No one survived that type of wound but he had seen skikru turn reapers back to men and save his life when he should have been dead so nothing was impossible. Clarke turned toward him with panicked eyes.

"Nyko, thank god. She's losing too much blood. Do you have anything you can give her to slow the bleeding down?"

Moving forward he set his bag on the table beside the bed. "Sha" Clarke watched as he pulled a plant out of his bag and mixed with water to make a poultice. "This will absorb the blood" He pulled out a vile " and this will slow the blood flow." 

Clarke watched as the treatments did their work amazed. Nyko caught her look and grinned. "Our peoples could learn much from each other."

"Yes, well we have to make them stop wanting to kill each other first. Right now I'm just concerned about saving her." 

Nyko nodded. "What now?"

Clarke looked at Lexa and gave her a reassuring look "We're going to turn you on your side for a minute. I need to see if the bullet went all the way through. I'm sorry this may hurt" 

Once Lexa gave her a nod to indicate she was ready Murphy and Nyko rolled Lexa over while Clarke examined her. "Damn it no exit would. It's still inside. I'll have to remove it. I need a something sterile to get it out with."

Nyko gently rolled Lexa back over. "I have a knife in my bag and tweezers I think Abby called them. We just need to make them clean sha?"

Clarke thought for a second before running to a trunk by the wall. "Monty's moonshine. Kane left a bottle here. Not perfect but it'll do." She poured a good amount over the tools and her hands. She caressed Lexa's cheek. "This is going to hurt a lot but I have to get it out or it will cause an infection." 

Lexa gave her a half grin. "I've had worse. I trust you, Clarke."

Clarke took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves. She was beginning to understand why it was such a bad idea for doctors to treat those they were close to. "Okay here goes. Nyko help keep the blood cleared as much as possible. Murphy shine a light on the wound." 

She removed the poultice and poured some water on the wound. She explained to Lexa everything she was doing both because she knew Lexa would want to know and it helped keep her mind from panicking. "Okay, Lexa I'm going to make the hole bigger." She cut a incision about 3 inches long. "Now I have to find the bullet and dig it out." She grabbed large tweezers from Nyko and started probing in the wound ignoring Lexa's grunts of pain. Every second that passed felt like an eternity as she probed inside Lexa hating that she was causing her pain. Every second that passed meant more blood lost. After several minutes she threw the tweezers on the table in frustration. " Damn it. I think I feel it but I can't grab it."

Nyko put a hand on her shoulder. " Let me, Clarke. Your emotions affect you too much now."

Nodding she traded places with the grounder healer. Holding Lexa's hand she pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "It'll be over soon." Nyko worked a minute before announcing he had it. He pulled it out dropping it onto the table. 

Clarke smiled in relief at Lexa before glancing back at her wound. Her smile quickly fell when she noticed how much fresh blood was coming out it. Blood that was trickling out a moment ago now was almost gushing. She rushed back around to Nyko. "Shit. The bullet must have been plugging a blood vessel. We need to find where the blood is coming from and put some of that poultice on the hole until my mom can get here." 

They worked frantically for a few minutes with no luck. Clarke looked at Lexa and noticed her eyes had closed. She quickly checked her pulse and last out a sigh of relief when she felt one faint as it was. "Murphy find a squirt bottle or something to rinse the area out with. I can't see anything but blood." 

Murphy dug around the room coming back a minute later with a small bottle of water. He used it to flush the wound with. After a few times flushing the wound Clarke was able to see the source of the blood and quickly applied the poultice. She was relieved to see the blood stop. "Now we'll just loosely wrap the wound to prevent infection until my Mom gets here. There's nothing more I can do. She needs surgery for the internal damage."

Clarke set about wrapping the wound believing Lexa would be okay now and sat down in a nearby chair to wait. Murphy shattered that belief however minutes later.

"Princess should your girlfriend be shaking like that."

Clarke jumped up from the chair noticing how deathly pale Lexa had become. "She's lost too much blood. She's going into shock. Stay with me Lexa. I will save you. Grab blankets cover her up. She needs a transfusion."

Murphy spoke up " Um. She's not breathing"

Clarke started doing CPR " Come on. Come back to me please. Don't you dare leave me" She stayed trying to revive Lexa until her arms ached and her lungs burned. Nyko put a hand on her shoulder with tears in his eyes. "Come Clarke. You did all you could. It was time for her fight to be over." 

Clarke just stood frozen shaking her head in disbelief wondering how quickly her life had turned from a dream come true to a nightmare. Nyko forced her to look at him. " We need the fleimkepa. The Commander's spirit must be passed on." 

Murphy guided her away from Lexa " Sorry Princess. I know how much she meant to you." 

Clarke just collapsed on the floor Murphy holding her tightly as the most sorrowful sobs he had ever heard filled the air.


	4. Chapter 4

Lexa slowly awoke enjoying the feeling of soft furs beneath and around her. Sighing she reached out expecting to find the equally soft body of her love and jerked up at the feel of empty space. She instantly tensed at the unfamiliar surroundings. This wasn't her bed in Polis or anywhere she knew. 

Remembering searing pain and the frantic eyes of Clarke as she tried to save her Lexa reached down to where she was shot and was shocked to find no bullet wound not even a scar to indicate where one once was.

Was it all a dream? No, that can't be true. She vividly remembers the feel of Clarke's skin, the taste of her, the sounds of her moans and while she had imagined such a scenario countless times her imagination was not that good. The pain of the bullet entering was unlike any she had felt. The last thing she remembers is hearing Clarke beg her to stay with her. What was going on and where the hell was she?

Deciding she wasn't going to get answers lying around she got up and examined the room. It was a decent size bedroom with a small fireplace. On one wall was a bookcase filled with books. There was a door off to one wall which held a small bathroom. She was about to head out the other door which she presumed was the exit when the last person Lexa expected to see entered. 

"Costia?" 

"Hello, Lexa"

Lexa shocked beyond words could only fall back sitting on the end of the bed. If Costia was here that meant... She'd abandoned Clarke yet again and during a crisis. This couldn't be happening they were supposed to fix the problem together and love each other for years to come but she'd left Clarke all alone instead. She felt her heart shatter and could only whisper in a broken voice "My spirit has moved on then" 

"No, not yet at least. If it does or not is up to you. Come there are people who need to speak to you."

More confused than she'd ever been in her life she numbly followed Costia out into the sunshine. Once outside she saw they were in a small cottage on hill that overlooked what looked to be a sizable village. 

"Where are we?"

"The city of light. The real one that is." 

"That's a myth."

"Is it? Looks pretty real to me." They had entered the main part of the village now. Everywhere people went about their day much as they did in the streets of Polis. There were venders selling every kind of thing a person could want and children played in the streets seemingly without a care. The only difference being the state of the buildings. Whereas in Polis they were cobbled together and falling apart in places here they were pristine as if they had just been built. 

Lexa could only look around in awe and disbelief. Costia grinned before leading her to a building in the center of town. "Come I think you need a drink" 

They entered the building and Lexa froze. Seated at the tables enjoying drinks were everyone she'd lost. Her parents, Anya, Gustus. 

A middle aged man with kind eyes approached her extending his hand. "Hi, Lexa. I'm Jake Griffin, Clarke's father. Nice to meet you but I really hope you don't decide to stay here. My daughter and the world needs you."

Lexa swallows nervously and shakes his hand. "Nice to meet you too, Sir."

Jake laughs and pulls her into a one armed side hug. "Call me Jake, kid. You are sort of family now." 

He leads her over to a table. She hugs her parents and sits between them and Jake as he pours her a drink. She sits between him and her mother. Costia sits by Finn. Anya and Gustus are across from her.

Anya smirking at her causes raise her eyebrows in silent question. 

Anya just shakes her head. " I can't believe you stopped a war just because blondie batted her eyes at you."

Lexa raises her chin in a defiant I will not be questioned manner. " Clarke is special. She makes me better, makes me see what is best for our people." 

Anya smiled softly at that. "Still the Commander of the thirteen clans turning into a love struck puppy who would have thought."

Lexa glared at her and glanced apologetically at Costia and Finn not wanting to talk about her relationship with Clarke in front of their exes.

Finn raised his hand stopping the words before they got out. " I'm glad she has you. I loved her and she may have loved me but not the way you two love each other. Me and Clarke weren't it for each other the same way you and Costia weren't meant to last."

"But I ordered your death how can you forgive me?"

"You did what you had to stop the fighting. I deserved it for what I did."

"You did it because you loved Clarke. I can't say I wouldn't do the same if I thought I was saving her." Lexa turns to look at Costia guilt written in her green eyes. "I'm sorry. If I had of known Nia would go that far I would have protected you better."

"It's not your fault. Bad things happen. You can't control everything no matter how much you try to."

"You died because we were together."

Costia gets up and kneels beside Lexa taking her hands in hers. "No. I died because Nia was a power-hungry bitch who would stop at nothing not because we loved each other. Love is not weakness. It can be the greatest strength you've ever known. Besides I'm okay so no more blaming yourself." She sit back down beside Finn and it would be hard to miss the loving look exchanged between them. 

"Commander?"

Lexa turned to see a woman having come down the stairs and instantly knew who she was. Becca Pramheda the first commander. 

"Come, Lexa kom Trikru, we have much to discuss."

Lexa followed Becca to an room off to the left. Inside was a desk littered with papers and walls of maps and numbers. "As you can see my duties did not cease when my spirit exited my body."

"What is this place really? Costia said my spirit has not left my body and it is my choice if it does."

Becca smiled at her. "Straight to the point I see. This is the city of light: a resting place if you will for those who have passed on. I'm a scientist not spiritual at all until I found myself here and saw it with my own eyes. We don't just have one life. We are reborn again and again learning from our mistakes and growing. Here is where our spirits rest in between those lifetimes. How long depends on how long we're needed here. My job is not done yet. Neither is yours." Becca suddenly grew serious. "There is a threat coming far greater than any we have faced. You and Clarke are the only ones who can save humanity from extinction. "

"We can't stop our peoples from fighting how can we possibly save everyone?"

"You'll find a way. After all you united twelve warring clans and Clarke has always saved her people against all odds. You two together and nothing could stop you." Becca sighed. "However I cannot force you to go back. You are not yet dead. You are between worlds. I know being Commander is a heavy burden to bear. You could chose to stay here live out eternity in peace and wait for Clarke to join you. Your souls are entwined you two will always find your way back to each other. Or you could go back and fight for a better world with Clarke. It won't be easy and there is no guarantee of success. The challenges ahead make your previous ones seem easy in comparison but I will help guide you as best I can."

Lexa walked over to the window and looked out at the peaceful city. People were happy here and did not want for anything. It would be easy to stay here at peace with her loved ones but the one she loved the most would be alone. She couldn't do that. She didn't want to wait to be to be with Clarke however long that took now that she had felt the love between them. She was still Commander and if there was the slightest possibility they could build such a world for their people in reality then she couldn't pass up that chance. Besides when had she ever shied away from a challenge. She turned back to Becca. "I need to go back. My people need me. Clarke needs me. I'd gladly take a lifetime of difficult if it meant having her by my side." 

Becca smiled a full smile at that filled with relief. "I knew I was right about you. I'll be in touch. Now you need to fight. Your fight is not over Lexa kom Trikru not for a long time yet."


	5. Chapter 5

Octavia quietly snuck through Arkadia in search of Abby. She had just turned a corner when hands grabbed her pulling her into a room. She grabbed her sword and had it to her attacker's throat in seconds. Breathing a sigh of relief she lowered her weapon. 

"Jesus, Kane. Are you trying to give me a heart attack or something? I could have killed you."

"Have you lost your mind? It's too dangerous for you to be here now."

"Why? What happened?" 

"Pike knows someone has been feeding you information. He's really starting to crack down. I wouldn't be surprised if he starts locking up anyone he suspects doesn't support him soon."

"He's going to lock up his own people just because they happen to think massacring every grounder is wrong?"

"I don't know what he'll do to be honest and that scares me. The ground has changed him."

"It's changed all of us, Kane but most people don't go on murdering sprees." Kane could only nod. They both knew not everyone adapted to life on earth well. Most did but some the pressure of trying to survive, the constant uncertainty made them do things they never would have considered on the Ark. "How's Lincoln?"

"Still locked up with the other grounders but well." Kane gave Octavia's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "We'll stop Pike and have peace. I have to believe that. All we've went through can't have been for nothing."

"I hope so. Anyway one problem at a time. I need Abby to come with me to Polis."

"Is Clarke okay?"

"Yeah but her girlfriend isn't. Lexa was shot. We need Abby for surgery. Without Lexa stopping Pike might not do any good."

"Stay here. I'll get Abby. I'll tap three times on the door. You hear anything else hide."

It only took about five minutes for Kane to return with Abby. Abby briefly hugged Octavia before pulling back with a worried expression. "Clarke?"

"She's fine. Lexa's been shot. I need you to come with me to Polis. Clarke has done what she could but Lexa needs surgery."

"I have patients here. How would we get past the blockade?"

"Jackson is more that capable of handling things here. Indra and I can sneak you into the city." 

"Why should I help the Commander? She left our people to die on Mount Weather. She left my daughter who then had to make a choice no one should have to."

"I'll admit I've never been the Commander's biggest fan but she did what she had to in order to save her people. Any of us would have done the same. The clans want to wipe Arkadia off the map. Lexa's stopped that. She changed blood must have blood and for that one of her people shot her. Do you really think if she dies the next Commander will show mercy? Her likely successor is a twelve year old kid. Do you honestly think he'll be able to hold off the clans? Like it or not we need Lexa alive and you're her only hope." Taking a deep breath Octavia grabbed Abby's hands. " Lexa loves Clarke." Octavia ignored Abby's surprised look. "And I'm pretty sure Clarke loves her, deeply loves her so if you won't try to save Lexa for your people do it for your daughter. Clarke deserves happiness more than anyone. Those two just seem to fit."

Abby fell silent contemplating Octavia's words. Her daughter and the Commander? Yes they seemed to have formed a bond before the attack on Mount Weather but love? Octavia was right though they needed Lexa alive and she'd sort through the revelation about Clarke's possible relationship with the Commander later. 

"Okay. Give me a few minutes to gather supplies." 

Ten minutes later Octavia, Abby and Indra were racing back to Polis as quickly as possible.


	6. Chapter 6

Clarke sat numbly in a chair in her chambers. She didn't really know even how she got there. She guessed either Nyko or Murphy guided her there. They were seated on the opposite side of the room Nyko tending to Murphy's wounds. She just sat staring at Lexa's body hoping to wake from this nightmare. Just a short while ago they were laying together happier than either of them had ever been. Now she was gone forever. Clarke would never look into her beautiful green eyes again, never feel her gentle loving touch, kiss her full lips, see her smile or the way Lexa would look at her like she was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Her heart was shattered. It felt like a piece of her soul left the minute Lexa did. Maybe she didn't deserve better after all she'd done. Maybe this was her punishment for Mount Weather and Finn and all the other shit she'd done since landing on the ground. 

She was jolted out of her thoughts by Titus entering the room. Rage such as she had never felt before consumed her and she was up out of the chair in seconds landing a hard punch to his jaw. She looked in satisfaction at the blood oozing out of his nose. "She's dead because you couldn't stand that she no longer listened to you. Because you want to stay stuck in old ways that will just end with everyone being killed."

"I was trying to do what was right for my people. I may have pulled the trigger but you killed her. You made her weak."

That only made Clarke angrier. She grabbed a nearby knife holding it to Titus's throat. 

He swallowed fear showing in his eyes. "Please Clarke. The commanders spirit must be passed on. I must complete the ritual. It's what Lexa would want." 

Clarke stared Titus down remembering another time not so long ago when the throat she'd held a knife to had been Lexa's. Blood was trickling from his skin. It would be so easy to end his life. She pressed a little harder and Titus actually whimpered a bit. 

Releasing a deep breath she let go going back to her chair. Lexa would want the ritual completed. She was always the Commander first and Lexa second. It always came down to the needs of their respective peoples. Maybe they were doomed from the start. Lexa was right: love is weakness. 

Clarke watched on curiously as Titus smeared some of Lexa's blood on his head and pulled out a small medical kit from his robes. He rolled Lexa over pushing her hair away from her neck and revealing a tattoo on the back of her neck. 

Murphy gasped and Clarke glanced over at him as he came to stand by her chair. She looked back to the bed to see Titus make an incision on Lexa's neck. 

Clarke watched mouth gaping as something crawled out of Lexa's neck. "What is that?"

Murphy stepped closer to the bed so he could see the object more clearly. "It's an AI. Jaha is talking some bullshit about the City of Light. He's got these chip things that look like that. They're supposed to take you to the city once you swallow them but I don't buy it. Personally I think Jaha's just completely off his rocker. He's talking to some bitch in a red dress I'm pretty sure is the one who nuked the planet"

Titus turned to Murphy. "Silence, thief or I will finish what I started earlier. I will not allow you to mock our most sacred traditions."

"Whatever baldy. When can we get out of here?"

"After the conclave I will see that you're both escorted safely behind the blockade. It's what Lexa would wish me to do. Now quiet so I can finish."

"Yu gonplei ste odon, Leksa kom Trikru. Gonplei kom Heda kigon feva." 

The words hit Clarke hard. No matter how hard she tried it was just one fight after another. Ontari would arrive for the conclave. Even if Aden did win how was a kid going to be able to protect skaikru from the clans. Lexa barely contained the situation and she was the strongest person Clarke had ever known. It felt like all she did to keep everyone safe was for nothing. 

Glancing back at the bed tears fell from her eyes again. Lexa probably died for nothing. Peace was just a dream. A dream Clarke made her believe in and she died because of it. Titus was right it was her fault. 

Sighing she was about to get up to get away as far as she could when something caught her attention. The fur by Lexa's mouth was moving as if... was she?

Titus was about to pick Lexa up when Clarke stopped him.

"Wait." Titus turned to her with an exasperated expression. "I think she's breathing."

"Oh for spirit's sake, Wanheda. She is gone. You need to accept that so the conclave can begin."

Thinking quickly she grabbed a knife holding it close to Lexa's nose and mouth. She sighed it relief. "Look. She's breathing. Even you must realize she's alive still."

Titus looked to the knife in shock. "Yes. She is apparently stronger than I realized."

Clarke pressed a quick grateful kiss to Lexa's forehead before focusing on saving her again. "She's lost too much blood. She needs a transfusion. Titus I need you to bring me the four oldest nightbloods."

"What do you want with the natblidas?"

"I'm going to take some of their blood and give to Lexa"

"You wish to drain them like the maunon? I cannot allow that. It is against our laws to harm natblidas." 

Resisting the urge to just tie the insufferable man up and do what she needed to she walked closer to Titus. " Not like the mountain men. They took all the blood. I just need a little and their bodies will replenish it. No real harm will come to the nightbloods I swear." 

Nyko walked over to them joining the conversation. "Abby did a transfusion on me. I promise fleimkepa it is safe."

Clarke looked into Titus's eyes pleadingly "I know you care for her. Please let me try this. Without it she will certainly die and I know you don't want that." Titus's expression didn't change so she changed tactics. "I will do it with or without your permission. I'll do anything to save her but I'd rather there not be anymore animosity between us."

"The natblidas will me alright?"

"Yes. They'll need to rest for a few hours afterwards and there is only slight pain from the needle."

"Okay, Clarke. I am trusting you because I know you love her and Lexa trusts you."

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Nyko, Murphy you know what supplies I need."

The three men exited the room going on their perspective tasks leaving Clarke alone with a still very pale Lexa. She sat beside her on the bed holding her hand. "I will fix you. I'm not losing you. Just hold on."

No more than ten minutes had passed when the trio returned. The four nightbloods froze upon seeing their Commander laying so still blood covering her stomach and the furs around her. 

Clarke stepped up to them smiling reassuringly at them. "She's alive but needs your help."

Aden nodded his head. "Yes anything for her. We love her." The other three quickly nodded their agreement. 

"Okay, Aden. Go sit by the bed. The rest of you can sit over there for now."

Clarke turned to Nyko. "Since my mom did a transfusion on you think you remember enough to help me?"

"Of course"

Murphy handed the makeshift equipment over already having sterilized it in Monty's moonshine. 

"Okay Nyko, you prep Lexa. I'll get Aden."

Making sure to keep her expression kind she pulled a chair beside Aden. She could tell despite the brave face he was putting on he was nervous. "Alright Aden, I'm going to make a small incision in your arm. It will sting a little. Then I'll insert this tube to draw your blood out and into Lexa. Don't worry it'll only hurt a little."

Aden nodded and she proceeded continuing until all four nightbloods had given some blood to their Commander. 

Titus made sure they made it back to their beds and were resting as instructed before being confined again to his quarters.

After seeing nothing more could be done tonight Murphy had been escorted to a room to rest and recover from his own injuries.

Only Nyko and Clarke remained. Nyko handed Clarke the bottle of moonshine. "You look like you need a drink." 

Clarke took a swig before handing it back to him. "I just need her to be okay."

He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder "I know. We've done all we can. She looks better and hopefully soon Abby will arrive."

"You should rest."

"So should you."

Clarke just shook her head. "I can't not until I know she's alright."

"Okay. I'll be close by. If you need me don't hesitate to send for me."

"I will. Thank you, Nyko."

After Nyko closed the door behind him Clarke practically collapsed in the chair beside the bed. She reached out feeling Lexa's faint but thankfully still there pulse. Lexa still lay deathly still but her color had returned. She was breathing but Clarke knew she was far from safe. 

She was exhausted from the emotional turmoil of the day but she couldn't sleep. Her mind ran rampant with so many thoughts. Pike and how to solve that mess, the city of light that Murphy mentioned but mostly of her love. She'd never been very spiritual but found herself praying that Lexa would survive so they could have many more moments like they'd had earlier before the world had once again went to shit. Closing her eyes she remembered those moments: The love and absolute joy in Lexa's eyes that she knew were mirrored in her own, the taste of her kiss, the absolutely amazing feeling of giving herself completely to someone and knowing that the person was doing the same. Lexa had all of her now heart, body and soul and she didn't know how she would survive without her. Before long her thoughts drifted to daydreaming about a happy future for them and the thoughts lulled her to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I'm starting to realize this story is going to turn into a massive epic. I may end up regretting this. Hopefully you lovely readers will stick with me through this journey. I have no intention of stopping not like Clexa would let me anyway. Thanks for the support. It means a lot. Sorry for the incredibly sappy turn this chapter took at the end. I don't know what happened there.

Clarke was awoken by someone shaking her shoulder. She shot up horrified that she had fallen asleep. Reaching out to Lexa immediately her shoulders sagged in relief when she felt a pulse slightly stronger than last night. After confirming Lexa was still alive she finally turned to face her visitors. She quickly rose from her chair and threw herself into her mother's arms. "Mom, thank God you're here. You have to save her."

Abby pulled back from her daughter a bit wiping the few tears that had gathered in Clarke's eyes. "I'll do what I can, baby. Now tell me what has been done so far."

"I've removed the bullet, stopped the bleeding as best I could." Her lips trembled and tears again filled her eyes as she thought of what had happened next. " She... she stopped breathing I thought she was dead but she somehow started breathing again. I gave her a transfusion. Her pulse seemed stronger just now."

Abby moved to Lexa checking her over. "Her blood is black? I've never seen anything like that."

"Yeah it goes back to the first Commander. I think it may be a deliberate genetic mutation. I think Murphy knows more about it but that's a problem for a another day." Clarke sighed deeply afraid to ask her next question. "How is she?"

Abby turned around to face her daughter a small encouraging smile on her face. "Well the damage is minor really considering what it could have been. A small surgery to repair the wound, plenty of rest and she should be fine. It was the blood loss and shock that almost killed her really and you got her through that."

Clarke felt a huge weight lift off her chest. The anxiety, the fear she'd lose the love of her life just as she found her wasn't completely gone and wouldn't be until she was able to look into green eyes and hear Lexa's soft voice but for the first time since she'd seen Lexa collapse and her blood flowing on her hands she felt as if it could all be okay. 

She didn't know if it was the immense relief or what but the next moment the room started spinning. She would have hit the floor if Octavia hadn't been standing close buy to catch her.  
Octavia gently guided Clarke to a nearby chair and went to retrieve a glass of water. She quickly returned handing it to Clarke who drunk it in small sips.

Meanwhile Abby was feeling her forehead. Satisfied it was nothing major she narrowed her eyes at her daughter. "When was the last time you ate anything?"

Clarke lowered her head sheepishly. " I don't really remember. It had to be before Octavia first showed up here. I've been a little busy since then."

Octavia shook her head. "Clarke that was at least 36 hours ago. You're lucky you haven't passed out. I know you're worried about Lexa but you have to take care of yourself too."

Abby raised her Clarke's chin forcing her to look at hoping her stern look would broach no argument. "You need to go eat now. I'll take care of Lexa." 

"You'll need someone to assist you and I'm not leaving her. I can't eat anything until I know she'll be okay."

Abby resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She should have known how stubborn her daughter could be. There was so much of her father in her. She was never going to completely change Clarkes mind when it was set on something. Maybe a compromise. "You're in no shape to help. You can sit here until I'm done and then we're going to get out of this room for a while and have lunch together. All of us."

Clarke sighed knowing she would probably be more of a hindrance than help in her state and they were wasting precious time. "Fine. Nyko should still be around. He can assist I suppose."

A very long and anxious hour later Abby and Nyko had finished the surgery. Nyko had left the women alone to return to his duties. 

Abby walked over to Clarke putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "She'll be okay. I've put her on a sedative. It's best to keep her out for a few days to give her body a chance to heal. Come. You need to eat and could probably use a little breather."

Octavia who had remained at Clarke's side silently but surprisingly holding Clarke's hand spoke up. "Indra will stay with her and come get us if there is any change. Come on Lexa would kill us if she knew anything happened to you."

Clarke allowed herself a small smile knowing Octavia was right. Lexa's extreme protectiveness of her was endearing although coming from anyone else it would annoy her to no end. She really could use some air even though she suspected her mother wanted to talk to her about her relationship with the Commander. Her mother wasn't blind and Clarke hadn't exactly been trying to hide her emotions. It was a conversation that had to be had at some point at least they could have it away from prying ears. 

 

They found an isolated field with trees surrounding it not far from the tower. The meal was simple and Clarke hardly tasted any of it but she did feel better afterwards. They were just sitting in silence and Clarke was hoping her mother wasn't going to bring up her love life. Really she should have known better. 

"So Clarke, you and the Commander?"

"Yes, and if you're going to try to convince me to not be with her you're fighting a losing battle. If I have to chose between her and you it's always going to be her. If I have to chose between her and anyone it's her."

Abby was shocked by the passion Clarke was showing. She had no idea it was this serious. She'd have to tread carefully. "I'm not trying to break you up. I'm just concerned and want to understand. She left our people to die on Mt. Weather. She left you. How can you forgive that and trust her again?"

"She did what she had to. Our plan failed. All the grounder prisoners would have been executed the moment she attacked. It hurt her just as much to leave as it did me to watch her go."

"So you two started before the mountain?"

Clarke took a deep breath highly uncomfortable with the conversation but knew her mother wasn't going to drop it. "Not fully no. We kissed. I knew she had feelings for me and I had feelings for her but it was so soon after Finn and my focus needed to be on getting our people back."

"If she cared about you how could she leave?"

"She's the Commander first. I would think you could understand that given you floated Dad because it was what you thought was best for your people."

Abby looked as if Clarke had slapped her but continued on. She just wanted to know her daughter was safe and happy. "And what's to prevent her from again sacrificing you or our people for the good of hers again.?"

"We are her people now. If she did what most of the grounders wanted all of skaikru would be dead now. She's did what she could to protect us and let us fix it ourselves. She almost died for it. She almost died and is still fighting for her life because she loves me and wouldn't hurt me again."

Octavia who had been silently watching the exchange between to two in amusement jumped in trying to relieve Clarke of a guilt she didn't deserve. "No Clarke. Lexa wouldn't make a decision based solely on emotion. She's the Commander first like you said. She must want peace as much as you, always has why else would she have let the Ice Nation into the coalition and let Nia live for so long." Clarke looked at Octavia shocked that she knew and Abby just looked curious. "Lincoln told me. The Ice Queen killed Lexa's previous lover thinking she could steal the throne or something. Instead of killing the bitch then for it she wrote off her crimes to have peace for her people."

Clarke couldn't help it she laughed at the incredulity of it. " I can't believe you're defending her and actually being supportive of me. "

Octavia shrugged. "Politics is complicated. I can't say I've agreed with everything you're both done but I can understand your motives were good. You see the big picture and make the tough choices based on that. I could never do that. Plus you're a billion times better than Pike."

"I wouldn't want anyone else having to make those decisions. Finn, Ton DC, Mt. Weather those are things that will haunt me the rest of my life but they were necessary. All I can do is make sure we have lasting peace so it all means something."

Abby put her hand over Clarkes that was resting on the ground between them. "I never wanted this life for you." 

"I know but apparently I was born for this same as Lexa."

Abby shook her head. "I'm still having trouble imagining Lexa loving someone."

Octavia giggled. "That's cause you haven't seen the heart eyes." Clarkes jaw dropped causing Octavia to laugh harder. "Oh yeah princess whenever she thinks no one is looking she gets all starry eyed looking at you like you're the greatest thing to ever exist. Honestly you're almost as bad."

Clarke blushed before looking down getting lost in her thoughts. After a minute she tried to explain why she loved Lexa "She's not the Commander with me. She's just Lexa and she's so caring. She acts hard cause she has to but when it's just us she is so soft. She'd do anything to make me happy but all I need to be happy is make her happy. To be the one person who loves her not the role she has to be. She's sacrificed so much for her people. I want to be the safe place where she can be herself just like she is for me. She's never blames or judges me for anything even when we disagree. She just loves me even though I don't deserve it. She let me hate her for Mt Weather so I wouldn't feel the guilt. I think she'd have let me hate her forever just to protect me from the type of burden she's known for years. That's how selfless she is. She makes me better. I feel whole when I'm with her. She understands me like no one else ever has without me even having to say how I feel she gets it. When I thought she was dead it was like I'd died too. Nothing would matter if I didn't have her in my life. It's like I'm not me without her anymore. It's scary as hell but I wouldn't change it even if I could because she makes me feel alive. She gives me hope that we could make a better world because if the world was capable of producing someone as magnificent as her surely there's more good in it." She finally lifted her head and saw both Octavia and her mom had tears in their eyes.

Octavia wiped her eyes. "See heart eyes and that was positively disgusting."

Abby just pulled Clarke into a hug. "You really love her and based on what you've said she really loves you so I'll have to accept it. I just want you to me happy and if the Commander is the one to do that then I won't stop you. If she ever hurts you again she'll have to deal with me though."

Octavia broke up the moment. "Well it was a long journey and I'm tired. Clarke, think you can score us one of those fancy rooms in the tower?"

"Of course."


	8. Chapter 8

Authors Note: Sorry it's been a while guys. It's heading into the crazy time of year at work and I've been trying to finish several projects around my house before it gets too cold. Being a responsible adult sometimes sucks.

Raven Reyes sit in a semi-secluded spot at the edge of Arkadia contemplating her life and fiddling with junk parts she'd scrounged up. After a few moments she threw the parts in the dirt in frustration. She couldn't even do something as simple as this anymore. She tensed when she heard footsteps behind her. 

"You know there is a way for you to be the genius mechanic you once were?" She turned to see Jaha standing there holding out a chip to her. "Let me help, Raven. Join me in the City of Light and become whole again. You leg would be as good as new. No pain ever again just peace."

"I'm sorry that sounds like a load of crap to me. Nothing is that simple." She forced herself up off the round with some difficulty. "What's your real aim with that think anyway?"

"I can promise you my intentions are honorable. Our people have suffered so much especially since landing on the ground. I just want my people to be happy and at peace. The City of Light offers that. Take the chip. Look it over if you want but there is nothing insidious there only good." 

"Fine." She snatched the thing from Jaha and limped off the her quarters.

Jaha smiling turned to Alie. "It won't be long now. She'll give in soon and be yours."

"And once we have Raven others will follow. Good job Thelonious."

 

Clarke woke feeling groggy with a pain in her lower back. They had made her a makeshift cot in her room. It was not very comfortable but she refused to leave Lexa's side except for meals. It had been three days since her surgery and Clarke missed seeing her beautiful eyes and hearing the unique way Lexa always said her name more with each day that passed. After checking that Lexa was okay she went to meet her mother for some breakfast followed closely by one of Lexa's personal guards. 

Her mother smiled up at her when she joined her and Nyko at their small table. They were evidently trading medical knowledge. Seeing her normally skeptical mother accepting a grounder and even being willing to learn from him gave her hope for their peoples if only they could resolve the Pike issue without much bloodshed.

Clarke grabbed some of the dried meat and fruit before asking what had been on her mind for days now. "When do you think Lexa will wake up?"

"Well, I stopped giving her the sedative early yesterday so hopefully today sometime."

"Good. I hope Octavia and Indra will succeed. The last thing we need is Pike doing something else to antagonize the grounders. One more incident and I don't know if Lexa will have any other choice but to wipe out Arkadia." Octavia and Indra had stayed the night after Lexa's surgery but the next day Clarke had asked them to try and free the grounders held prisoner inside Arkadia. 

"I'm sure they'll do it, Clarke. After all one of them is Lincoln. Octavia will do anything for him." 

After breakfast Clarke went back to her room. Pulling a chair beside Lexa she grabbed her sketchpad and started drawing her favorite subject. Drawing always relaxed her and quieted her mind as nothing else could. Well nothing but being in Lexa's arms.

She sketched for a few hours before putting it aside in favor of just sitting beside Lexa absentmindedly stoking the back of the hand that she'd seen both wield incredible strength and loving tenderness and speaking quietly to her.

"You're so beautiful. I don't think I've ever told you that. When I walked into that tent and saw you for the first time you took my breath away. You were stunning and fierce. Intimidated the hell out of me. Hopefully that didn't show. You put up this unapproachable, unaffected facade but it wasn't long before I could see past that to who you really are. You're amazing and I'm so honored to be the one you allow to see you. When you kissed me I've never felt anything like that. It felt like I'd found that unidentified thing I'd been missing my whole life. It scared me. I shouldn't have been feeling that way towards anyone so soon after Finn and we were in the middle of a war and I needed to focus on getting my people back." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Then you left me at Mt. Weather and it broke my heart. It wasn't because of my people it was because I had fallen completely in love with you and I thought you felt the same. You taking the deal made me question everything. I don't blame you anymore. You did what you had to do. I'm sorry for being so angry, for wasting time we could have spent together. Since I've been here you've been nothing but patient with me and showed me every way you could how much you care without ever expecting anything in return. I don't deserve you." She tenderly brushed the hair off Lexa's forehead and placed a gentle kiss there. "I love you with everything in me. You're the love of my life and you need to wake up so I can tell you that."

When she pulled back she saw a sight that brought happy tears to her eyes. Lexa had finally opened her eyes and Clarke got lost in green before smiling. "Hi, about time you woke up. You gave me hell of a scare. I thought I'd lost you."

Lexa tried to speak but it felt like she'd swallowed and entire beach worth of sand. Clarke quickly got her a glass of water and helped her drink it. Her voice still came out raw sounding though. "Clarke, ai hod yu in, seintaim."

Clarked smiled a brilliant smile before leaning forward to kiss Lexa tenderly. She stayed leaned in close after the kiss just stroking Lexa's cheek and taking her in wonderfully alive. "You're not allowed to almost die on me again, okay. I don't think I can take it."

Lexa smiled and buried and hand in Clarke's blonde hair. "I will do my best to keep my spirit where it is, ai hodnes. I want a long life with you by my side." She pulled Clarke the inch or so separating them and reconnected their lips. They spent a long moment just basking in the fact that they were together and alive lips moving tenderly together until air became a necessity. 

Clarke reluctantly detached herself from Lexa. "I'm going to get my mom so she can check you out." She couldn't resist placing another quick peck on Lexa's lips though.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry it's been a long time since I updated. While I ultimately know where this story is headed and even have several future scenes in my head I was very stuck on the next step of getting there. Finally my muse cooperated so hope you enjoy this very long chapter.

Octavia and Indra set up camp just inside the blockade hopefully close enough to it that none of Pike's men would find them yet far enough from it that the grounders wouldn't disturb them either. After making sure the site was secure they had tried radioing Kane all day but were unsuccessful. They decided to try one more time the following morning before giving up and just attempting to sneak into Arkadia. Just as they laid down for the night the radio crackled to life.

"Octavia, Indra are you there? We have a urgent situation here."

"This is Octavia. Indra is with me. First off are you sure this channel is secure?"

"Yes, Raven rigged these two radios up. The only ones who can use this channel is us. They're untraceable."

"Raven is helping you? I figured she'd be more likely to agree with Pike than fight against him given the whole Finn thing."

"Raven may have ample reason to dislike and distrust the grounders but even she can see how suicidal Pike's actions are. Speaking of which he's planning on executing the prisoners tomorrow. We have to act fast."

Octavia felt a vice constrict around her heart at his words even although she wasn't surprised by Pike's decision. It really had only been a matter of time before Pike concluded they couldn't waste valuable rationed supplies on the "enemy" even if the enemy was only in his head.

Noticing her second's distress Indra placed a comforting hand on Octavia's shoulder calming the young warrior. "We need to free them before Pike can carry out his plan. How many do you have willing to help?"

"There's myself, Miller, Harper, Raven, Sinclair and Monty. After the attack on that village he came over to our side. Helped us bug Pike's office."

"That's good. We need a distraction. Miller and Harper can free the prisoners and Indra and I will sneak them out."

"We wait until midnight. There aren't as many guards then. Sinclair and Raven can create a problem with the camp's power. You won't have long. Fifteen minutes or so before the emergency power kicks on."

"Sounds like a plan. Get your people ready. We'll sneak close to the camp and wait until it goes dark."

11:55pm Arkadia

The camp was quiet. The only guards remaining were the eight around the perimeter and the two with the prisoners. Sinclair and Raven used the shadows the sneak up to the camp's power station. All they had to do was use a shock lash to overload the main convertor and lights out. 

Sinclair stood by the convertor. Raven stood twenty feet away waiting for Harper to give the signal that everyone was in place. Harper stepped out of the Ark and waved at Raven who turned and nodded to Sinclair.

"Lights out in three..two..one." He turned the shock lash up to full charge and rammed it into the convertor. Sparks shot everywhere burning his arm before the power generators hummed to a stop and the camp plunged into darkness. 

Raven made her way over to him. "We should get back to our quarters. They'll be coming to get us to fix this." She grabbed his arm to pull him inside when he hissed in pain and she abruptly let go.

"The thing sparked all over. Just a minor burn. Small price to pay for doing the right thing. I'm fine, Reyes. Go to your quarters act normal."

He had just finished changing into nightclothes when there was knock on his door. He ruffled his hair and was rubbing his eyes as he opened the door. "Yeah, I know. I'll get dressed and come look at it. Never a moments rest around here I swear."

 

Miller snuck along the wall towards the cells. The two guards had lantern set up on a table so he'd have to lure them to the dark so he wouldn't be seen and take them out one at a time.

Looking around he shrugged and banged on the wall hoping it would work. He heard the one of the guards volunteer to check it out and snuck back into the shadows waiting. 

The guard came around the corner cautiously looking around. "It's nothing. Old spaceship making noises again." Miller waited until he turned his back to him before hitting him in the head with his pistol. 

The other guard having heard the thud of his partner hitting the ground spoke. "Tom, everything alright?" Several seconds passed before Miller heard the guard walking towards him and he carefully positioned himself so he wouldn't be seen and the guard would have his back to him when he entered the corridor. As soon as the guard entered he knocked him out quickly grabbed the cell keys. 

He rushed to the cells and unlocked the door. "Come with me. We're busting you all out."

Lincoln walked up him. "Where would we go? Most here are no longer accepted among our people."

"If you stay you'll die. Pike is planning to execute all of you tomorrow. Clarke is with the Commander and from what Octavia has said she has a good bit of influence. I'm sure she can get the Commander to accept you back. We don't have much time before the emergency power kicks on. We have to hurry. Octavia and Indra are waiting to see you to safety."

"Lead the way."

 

Sinclair was knelt beside the power station pulling out the fried components when he saw Pike walking up to him. 

"How long do you think it will take to get our power back on?"

"The convertor is fried. It'll need a new one. I think I have one in the shop but I'll have to wait until daylight so I can see properly. Otherwise I could end up frying myself along with the parts."

Pike was silent for several moments obviously contemplating something when his radio crackled followed by a frantic voice. 

"Sir, someone knocked Tom and I out. The prisoners are gone."

Pike turned back to Sinclair. "I want that power on as soon as possible" He grabbed his radio turning it to the broadcast throughout the Ark. "Attention, all guards. The prisoners are escaping. Report to duty immediately. Any prisoner is to be shot on sight. Anyone helping them escape is to be detained for questioning."

 

Bellamy laid in bed wide awake wondering what he was going to do. He couldn't let Pike execute the grounders, execute Lincoln. Octavia would never forgive him and he couldn't forgive himself. Gradually he had come to see the error in Pike's thinking. Not all grounders were out to kill them. He had met plenty who were good decent people who just wanted peace.

His grief and guilt over not being able to protect his people, protect Gina had blinded him. Made him see all grounders as a threat when the biggest threat was Arkadia's new Chancellor. 

He jolted when the intercom blasted to life and felt his heart drop to his stomach. If someone was helping the prisoners escape Octavia had to be involved. He had to help her and he knew just the route they would use to get out of Arkadia. 

 

Miller froze when the announcement was made. "Shit. We have to move now."

The group moved as quickly as possible to the secret exit on the other side of the Ark. 

Octavia and Indra met them about three quarters of the way there. Octavia and Lincoln shared a lengthy embrace that was only interrupted when Miller cleared his throat.

"As much as I'd love to watch your sweet reunion we have about five minutes before the emergency power kicks on and this place is going to be crawling with guards."

The group crept quietly along the rest of the way but were stopped just before their way out. The final corridor had about six guards in it all with flashlights and guns. They could barely make out Harper and Kane in the hall. Harper signaled for them to wait and walked away.

Moments later the guards radios crackled with a message from Harper announcing she had spotted some of the prisoners in the north quarter of camp. The guards rushed off in that direction.

Miller parted from the group to go look like he was doing his job and the rest of the group met Kane by the secret exit. Kane grasped Lincoln's arm in the grounder greeting. "Glad to see everyone made it. Now go quickly."

Indra stepped up to him. "You should come with us. Pike is bound to know it was you who helped."

"He can't prove anything. I'll be fine. Save your people. I'll stay and try to save mine."

Indra nodded before grasping his arm. "You are a good man, Marcus Kane despite being skaikru. May we meet again."

Octavia stepped up next. "I don't know if you can but try to make our people see reason. There's been enough death. May we meet again."

The prisoners started climbing through the secret tunnel that led outside of Arkadia.

"Stop right there."

Kane and Octavia turned putting their bodies in front of the remaining prisoners. Kane recognized the young guard as Steven Mcbain. The young man was pointing his gun at them, his arm shaking. 

"Move away from the prisoners, Sir. I have orders to kill them."

Kane took a step towards Steven with his hand raised. "To kill them you'll have to kill me first. I know you don't want that. I knew your father. He was a good man. I know you are too. If you kill these people you'd be nothing but a murderer. Do you really want that?"

Steven started to lower his gun when suddenly he slumped to the floor. Octavia gasped when she saw Bellamy step out of the shadows. She rushed forward holding her sword to his chest.

Bellamy raised dropped his weapon and raised his hands. "Easy, O. I'm here to help."

"Help? You're part of the reason this mess exists to start with."

"I know. I made a mistake but I'm not a monster. I'm not Pike."

Octavia stared into her brother's eyes and only saw regret and a desire to make things right. She lowered her weapon. 

Their heads turned when they could hear boots running in their direction. Steven must have notified the other guards he'd found them. 

Bellamy pushed them towards the tunnel. "Go now." Octavia paused inside the tunnel a silent question in her eyes. "Pike trusts me. I can use that to help overthrow him." He swallows hard. "I'm sorry for all I did. Tell Clarke that for me will you?"

Octavia nodded. "See ya big brother."

Once everyone was inside Bellamy sealed the tunnel and handed Kane his pistol. "You need to shoot me. Pike can't suspect me at all. Shoot me in the shoulder and knock me out."

Kane did as Bellamy asked and was planning on making a run for it when the emergency lights turned on. He glanced down the two corridors he could escape from and sighed when he saw both were filled with guards who were rapidly coming his way. He was trapped.

He stood proud in the middle of the corridor when Pike came in surrounded by guards. He dropped the gun and knelt with his hands behind his head.

Pike walked up to him and handcuffed him. "I should have known you'd try something like this Marcus. I have you now. Who else helped you? Tell me and I might spare your life."

Kane looked up at Pike defiantly. " I acted alone."

Pike shrugged. "Have it your way. Your little rebellion, your weak ways will die with you."

 

3:30am 

Bellamy made sure Miller was assigned to guard Kane before going to see him. They sit in silence a few moments before Kane spoke.  
"How's your shoulder?"

"Can't say it's the most pleasant injury I've had." He gathered himself before continuing "I can't break you out. Security is maxed. We'd never get out of here alive."

"I figured that would be the case. It's funny how life works sometimes."

Bellamy looked over at Kane curiously. He didn't seem upset about his imminent death. He was calm and even had a wry smile. "What's funny about dying?"

"I've tried several times to die for my people to atone for some of the things I've done. Now that I've found a reason to want to live I'm getting my wish of dying for my people."

"A certain fiery doctor with a equally fiery and stubborn daughter?"

"Yeah. Listen Bellamy, don't beat yourself up over this. You made a mistake but you're a good man so just learn from it and keep being the man I know you can be."

"I could get close to Pike. He trusts me. It'd be easy for me to kill him."

"That wouldn't solve the problem and you know it. Too many of our people agree with him still. We have to change opinions."

"Which is why you're going to let him kill you? You're hoping it will shock them into realizing Pike is wrong."

 

6:30am

Raven rushed to her quarters and grabbed the radio she'd managed to sneak out of Kane's room before Pike's goons ransacked it. "Octavia come in." She only had to wait seconds for an answer.

"We're here Raven. What's up?"

"They've captured Kane. He's going to be executed at noon. It will be public. Pike wants to use it as a warning but Kane plans to use it to talk to everyone."  
"We have to do something. We can't just let him die."

"Don't you think I know that. I've looked at every possibility. Every guard is on duty. There's no way to get anyone in and even if you did manage to get it you'd be dead before you got out."

"So we just let him die?"

"I don't see another option." 

Indra took the radio from Octavia. "Don't do anything stupid. Pike must not suspect any who are on our side. Maybe Kane can sway your people. He's a good man. I hate to see him die but a wise warrior picks her battles and this is not one we can win."

 

noon 

Marcus Kane knelt in the dirt outside the Ark surrounded by his people. His hands were tied and he was about to die. Despite this he was proud.

Pike stood beside him, gun in hand. "Marcus Kane for the crime of high treason you have been sentenced to death. Do you have anything you would like to say?"

"Yes actually. If trying to prevent my people getting wiped out is treason I gladly will die. You're leading us down a path that only leads to our destruction. The only way our people will survive is by working with the grounders."

"The same grounders that massacred our people. I will protect our people unlike you."

"That was one faction and the one who ordered it is dead. Not all grounders are the enemy. The world isn't black and white. There is another way. If the only way we can survive is by wiping out everyone else and taking whatever we want then maybe we don't deserve to survive."

"Enough. I'm sorry it had to come to this Marcus. Truly I am."

"I'm sorry you're so far from the man you were Charles."

A single gunshot rang through the camp and Marcus Kane's body slumped to the ground.

 

Octavia, Indra and Lincoln watched from distance and turned towards Polis. The Commander and Clarke needed to hear about these latest developments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTE: You really didn't think this story was going to be all fluff did you? I'm sorry. I really didn't want to kill Kane but the story demanded it. While I promise neither Lexa or Clarke will die at least not until they're old and gray I can't promise other characters won't die.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay. I've been a bit disheartened about writing this story. Plus I pretty much spent all of december massively depressed. It's kinda hard to write when I just want to crawl in a hole somewhere and disappear forever. Sorry for super sappy clexa. I promise they're still the badass chicks we love and they will show that in this fic.   
> On another note wow what a reaction to the last chapter. Let me put some thoughts to bed right now. Bellamy is in no way redeemed. He has realized he was wrong to follow Pike but there will be consequences to his actions. Neither Octavia or Clarke will forgive him easily. That being said I don't hate Bellamy as a character. I felt what he did in season 3 was a big step backwards for his character.   
> Ultimately the world in this fic will get better but it's not going to be easy getting there and there will be losses along the way. Anyway hope you enjoy and remember positive reviews encourage Sig to write the next chapter faster.

Abby stood in the doorway of the Commander's quarters with a small smile gracing her lips as she watched her daughter cuddling with the Commander she once thought was heartless. Lexa was laying with her head on Clarke's chest while Clarke absentmindedly stroked Lexa's hair. They were whispering quietly and exchanging tender kisses. They both had content smiles on their faces. This was the side of the Commander Clarke fell in love with the one no one but her was meant to see. Looking at them you would never guess these two young women carried the weight of known civilization on their shoulders. They just looked like two girls very deeply in love. 

Abby was about to leave them to their privacy when she heard a sound she thought she'd never hear again. Clarke was giggling and it made Abby's her heart swell with relief and gratitude. She hadn't heard Clarke laugh since Jake was floated. Had in fact worried her daughter would never truly be happy again. Then Finn and all the things Clarke had been forced to do happened and she thought Clarke was even more lost to her but Lexa had managed to bring that piece of her little girl back. As much as she would never have chosen this path for Clarke, would never have chosen the Commander as Clarke's partner she was glad Clarke had Lexa.

She was so lost in watching them she didn't notice Octavia joining her until she spoke.

"Told you those two are made for each other."

Abby hummed her agreement. "How old is Lexa do you think?" 

"I'm not sure exactly. She was sixteen when she became commander so she's got to be twenty or twenty-one. 

Abby glanced back at the two curled intimately on the bed and sighed. Both way too young to have so much responsibility thrust upon them and so much blood on their hands. Understanding washed over her. They understood and supported one another as no one else could because no one else would ever understand the decisions they made. She vowed silently to do everything she could to always support and protect the two of them. 

Turning to look at Octavia she noticed a sadness in her eyes. "What happened? Is Lincoln...?"

"No. He's fine. Him and Indra are settling the horses. Things didn't completely go to plan. I'll tell you all together."

Abby went to walk in the room but Octavia pulled her back. "Trust me Abby, you don't want Lexa to know you saw her like that."

With that they moved out of sight just as Lincoln and Indra walked up. Indra taking the initiative of announcing their arrival. "Heda, Wanheda we have returned from Arkadia."

They heard one of them sigh and shuffling as they moved to more respectable positions before Lexa called for them to enter. 

They all entered the room to see Clarke was now sitting on the sofa and Lexa was sitting up in bed no traces of the softness they were displaying moments before. "Indra what news do you bring?"

"We freed our people from Arkadia's walls." Indra hesitated and Octavia sent an apologetic look to Abby and Clarke. 

"But? Indra what happened?"

"Kane helped us and he was captured." Abby and Clarke both gasped a feeling of dread overtaking them. Indra paused swallowing hard. She had grown to respect Marcus Kane a great deal. "He was executed yesterday. The camp was too secure we couldn't get him out. He made a speech before he was shot hoping to sway skaikru."

Lexa nodded processing the information. "You made the right decision. Kane will be missed. Hopefully his sacrifice with help skaikru see sense."

Clarke who had been silent this whole time straightened her spine and put on her leader mantle. "Nothing can be done to save Kane but we can try to save the rest of our people. Octavia, mom, we leave for Arkadia in the morning. It's time we end this." 

Lexa smiled internally at Lincoln who was hanging back in the doorway clearly uncertain of where he stood with his Commander. "Lincoln, I promise you are safe. You will not be harmed here." She paused while Lincoln approached the bed. "I banished you to protect you. I was not sure how others would react to your actions and thought you would be safer with Octavia. I'm sorry that was not the case."

Relief washed over Lincoln's face. "Heda, you are not angry I disobeyed you and turned my back on our people?"

"How could I be? You were protecting someone you love. You followed what you heart said was right. Unfortunately I could not do the same that day." She paused thinking a moment. She needed people around her who she could trust and who shared her vision. Lincoln was the first to believe peace was possible. "Actually I have an offer for you if you are willing to accept. Titus cannot be trusted. He remains stuck in the old ways. You are and excellent warrior but I know you take no joy in being one. I would like you to be the new flamekeeper. Help me forge a new and better life for all our people"

Lincoln just stared for a minute in shock. "Heda, I am honored but.." He glanced at Octavia.

Lexa brow furrowed in confusion before understanding hit her. "Many of the ways of our people are outdated. I think you can serve your people perfectly well and love also and Octavia would make and excellent personal guard to myself and Clarke."

Octavia nodded her agreement at him. "It that case, Heda. I hope to serve well."

Everyone started to leave the room to get some much needed rest before their journey but Clarke stopped Abby by the door. 

"Mom, I'm so sorry. I know you cared about Kane. I could tell when you came here for the initiation ceremony."

Abby swallowed her tears. "It's not your fault. He wasn't your father. No one could ever really compete with him but I could have loved and been happy with Marcus." She could see the sorrow and regret in Clarke's eyes. This was going to be yet another thing weighing on her daughter's already heavy conscious. As much as she wanted to she couldn't take that pain away. The only one who could ease it was laying just feet away. She gently kissed Clarke's forehead instead. "Get some sleep. You're going to need it." She closed the door behind her and headed to her own temporary bed.

Clarke stood staring at the door lost in her thoughts until Lexa broke her out of them.

"What you're thinking. It's not true, Clarke."

Clarke spun around towards Lexa. "Isn't it?"

Lexa felt her heart constrict. Clarke's normally bright eyes were filled with shadows. "Come here, ai niron." Clarke hesitated feeling she didn't deserve Lexa's comfort. Lexa's eyes softening further would have been enough to convince her but her whispered please made it impossible to resist.

Clarke shuffled over to the bed carefully sitting beside Lexa facing her. Lexa gently held one of Clarke's hands in her own while cupping her cheek with her other forcing Clarke to look at her. "It's not your fault. Pike is the only one to blame."

"But if I hadn't of left none of this would have happened. Kane would still be alive. Your army wouldn't have been massacred."

"If it wasn't Pike it would have been someone else or something else. Our peoples don't trust one another and that is understandable given our history. You have sacrificed much for your people none could fault you for taking a little time to come to terms with that."

"You never abandoned your people even after Costia you stayed."

"True but I was trained from a young age to serve my people above all else. I was prepared for what that meant. You were just dropped in a situation and yet you became a great leader to your people. You were wise enough to know you weren't what they needed at the time so you left to become yourself again. Now you will return and lead them again."

Clarke sighed and looked away from Lexa. She didn't know whether she should speak her next thoughts aloud but ultimately decided to. Lexa would never think less of her. She didn't have to be Wanheda with her. "I'm not even sure who I am anymore. What if I'm not good enough"

Lexa gently guided Clarke's eyes back to hers. "You're Clarke kom skaikru, ambassador of the thirteeth clan the most stubborn person I know. You've got a kind heart, kind enough to forgive and love me even though I don't deserve it. You're passionate. Anyone who knows you would follow you anywhere no matter how dire the situation. You're smart, stunningly beautiful inside and out. You're stronger than anyone I know."

Clarke scoffed at that. "You're telling me that miss grab a sword with my bare hand."

"Yes, most wouldn't be able to do the things you're done and go on."

"You've done similar things if not worse."

"Yes, but like you they weren't done maliciously but out of love for my people. You're not a monster, Clarke. Just being with you makes me a better leader but more than that you make me a better person."

Clarke smiled and leaned in to give Lexa a loving grateful kiss. She pulled back keeping their foreheads pressed together. "How do you always know just what to say to make me feel better."

"I know you, Clarke. That's how."

They stayed there pressed together contentedly for a few moments when Clarke let out a little giggle. Lexa pulled back confused and with a question in her eyes.

"Sorry, I was just remembering when you told me love was weakness. Who would have thought the great commander would be such a romantic sap."

Lexa just shrugged. "I was wrong. I've never felt stronger than when I'm with you."

"Me too."

Lexa smiled and let Clarke go. "Come, ai hodnes you should sleep."

 

Morning came too soon and Clarke blearily opened her eyes and smiled at the sight before her. Lexa was lying on her side facing her and the morning sunlight was shining on her face. It was the most beautiful sight Clarke had ever seen. She longed to grab her sketchpad and capture this moment to hold her over for however long they would be separated. 

Before she could though Lexa opened her eyes and smiled. "Morning, ai hodnes."

"Morning." Clarke was leaning in to give Lexa a kiss when there was a knock on the door forcing a groan from her instead.

Lexa gave her a quick kiss before bidding Indra to enter.

Indra stopped a few feet from the bed bowing quickly to both of them. "King Roan of Azgeda is here to see you, Heda. Also, Titus is demanding to see you. Wanheda, your horses and provisions are ready and waiting on you."

"Thank you, Indra. Bring them both to the throne room. We'll meet them shortly. Please fetch Octavia and Lincoln and have them meet us here in a few minutes."

Clarke waited until Indra had left before turning to Lexa. "Are you nuts? You were shot just days ago. You shouldn't be standing let alone walking to the throne room."

"What would you have me do have a meeting in here while I'm in bed? I cannot seem weak in front of Roan. My position is fragile still."

"Because of me."

"No because I am trying to change things for the better. Not all will accept it right away. Change is not easy for most. You know I have to do this. I'll just lean on you until I get there. It'll be fine."

"Fine but if you reopen your stitches I'm not going to be gentle fixing them."

They dressed as quickly as possible and slowly walked to the throne room Lincoln and Octavia behind them with the same thought in both of their minds. What now?


	11. Chapter 11

Ten minutes later Lexa and Clarke entered the throne room flanked on either side by Lincoln and Octavia with Indra trailing behind them. Lexa sat upon her throne as the rest stood close by on high alert knowing if Roan was here it was hardly for a social visit. 

Lexa put on her Commander mask and stared Roan down. "King Roan what do we owe the pleasure of this visit to?"

"Commander, I bring you information you'll be very interested in but I'm not sure all the ears in this room," He subtly nodded towards the guards standing near the doors. "can be trusted to keep it secret."

Lexa glanced at her guards. "Leave us." Once they had left and shut the heavy doors she turned back to Roan. "The remaining ears can be trusted I assure you now speak."

"Rumor has it that you've been shot and almost died." He smiled slightly, "Judging by the way Wanheda keeps looking at you like you're going to drop any second I'd say the rumors are true."

Lexa's teeth clenched and Indra, Lincoln and Octavia's hands immediately went to their weapons but Lexa held up a hand as she rose from her throne and crossed to where Roan stood. Only those standing close heard her intake of breath from the pain. 

"And you thought you'd come and challenge me again thinking it would be an easy fight now? I assure you a little scratch wouldn't prevent me from defeating you."

"You're handed my ass to me once I've no desire to repeat that experience. Others however... Ontari has heard of your accident and has gathered the few of my people still loyal to my mother. They're planning on marching on the capital to take advantage of your weakened state."

Lexa narrowed her eyes. "And why are you warning me? I would think you would love having a commander that's one of your own. Why should I trust you?"

"Believe it or not I'm not my mother. I want what's best for my people. I just happen to think that's you being Commander." He took a deep breath. "My mother was always cruel. In the years I was exiled that cruelty only grew. My people suffered greatly under her rule and Ontari was trained in her image. I've seen how life is in Polis, how the people prosper. Now there's talk of you creating true peace. I've seen enough fighting to last several lifetimes and if my people can be spared that I'm all for it."

Lexa scoffed. "You honestly think such a world is possible?" 

Roan shrugged. "I think you and Wanheda seem to do the impossible on a fairly regular basis so not only do I think it's possible I think it'll happen."

Titus who had remained silent this whole time decided to speak up "Heda you can't seriously think he's telling the truth? Azgeda has done nothing but plot overthrowing you since you ascended."

Lexa snapped her gaze to Titus her look turning ice cold. "I don't recall asking for your opinion, Titus." Her head started to spin and her wound was throbbing.   
Her strength was fading fast. She turned back to Roan. "Thank you for the warning, King Roan. I trust you will enjoy your stay in the capital."

Roan nodded and left.

Clarke who had been watching Lexa closely rushed to her side. No one else would have been able to tell how injured she was but Clarke knew Lexa so she saw the slight clenching of her fists, sweating brow and tiring eyes. She guided Lexa back to her throne quickly unfastening her armor sighing when she saw the blood seeping through her bandages. "Must you be so stubborn?"

Lexa smirked at her. "Yes. After all I have to deal with you."

Clarke just grinned and set about changing Lexa's bandages muttering all the while about hard headed commanders who always had to show off.

Titus shook his head. "Heda, your weakness for Clarke will be your undoing. Roan would have never known you were injured without her being here."

Lexa growled before fixing Titus with a hard stare. "And I would not be injured if you hadn't tried to kill Clarke. The only threat here is you and your old ways. Clarke does not make me weak. I'm stronger than I've ever been. Keep questioning me and I will decide to have you killed after all. Now what did you want to see me about." 

Titus gulped and nodded. "The flame cannot be without a holder much longer. It needs to be reinserted soon."

"Fine get it over with then."

Clarke shot up at that. "Hold on. The flame has the same symbol as the chips Jaha has been handing out. Murphy thinks it has something to do the bombs that fell. I'm not letting you put that thing back in your head until I know it's safe." 

Lexa rolled her eyes and nodded to Indra and she returned five minutes later with Murphy. "Wow. quite the gathering. Commander, Princess, Bald man, Octavia and her grounder plaything, mean looking lady I don't know."

"Cut the crap Murphy." Clarke grabbed the flame from Titus holding up to Murphy. "What do you know about this?"

"I think I could explain better if we went down to the monk's sanctuary."

Lexa nodded. "Lead the way."

Clarke sighed loudly. "Are you serious? When you collapse I'm not carrying your stubborn ass back to bed."

Fifteen agonizing minutes later they made it down to the sanctuary. Clarke pushed an exhausted and sweating Lexa into a chair and handed her a glass of water while shaking her head. 

Lexa drank it gratefully then nodded for Murphy to begin.

"Jaha and I went looking for the City of Light and well we found a bunker and a mansion. Inside the bunker there were video archives from before the bombs. The people were trying to stop someone called Alie. I think she's an AI and I think she's the one that set the bombs off or at least the first one and then chain reaction. Alie is still around Jaha freed her and they've been handing out these chips that seem to turn people into mind-controlled freaks. They're looking for something. My guess is it's that thing."

Clarke shook her head in confusion. "But why?"

Murphy walked over to the space pod and uncovered it causing the skaikru in the room to gasp. Clarke walked over to it touching the faded letters. "Is that?"  
"From Polaris, the thirteenth station yeah. Look at the paintings on the wall. I'm just theorizing here but someone created both things right if they're connected. I think the flame as they call it was a way to stop Alie."

Clarke was wondering around looking at the paintings. "So Alie's creator realized the monster she'd created and made an improved version." Clarke grabbed the book explaining the rituals of the flamekeeper and the tales of the first Commander. " The first Commander was skaikru."

Lexa who had been trying to follow along but was getting increasingly lost as to what the sky people were refering to. "Clarke I'm not sure I understand."

"The Ark was made up of twelve stations like the different clans but banded together. There was a thirteenth station called Polaris. It blew up right before the stations merged. There's always been rumors of someone escaping before it blew." She walked over to the pod. "This a space pod. It's a ship to get to earth from space and the name on it is Polaris. Some letters are missing but it's clearly Polaris." She handed the book to Lexa. "and that is covered in the remnants of a spacesuit. Commander is a military title from the old world. I think that Alie's creator came to earth after the bombs to help the survivors. The flame is an AI but one designed to be more human. The nightblood is a genetic modification so only a select few could carry the flame. Course I could be completely wrong too."

Lexa nodded. "There's only one way to find out. I spoke to Becca pramheda when I was between life and death. She said she will help in our coming struggle. I need to speak to her and the only way to do that is to take the flame back."

Titus went to complete the task but was stopped by a raised hand from Lexa. "You have proven yourself unworthy of your position. Lincoln is the new flamekeeper. You will tell him how to do it."

Clarke let out a sigh of relief as Lexa seemed fine after. "Now we need to talk about Ontari."

Lexa shrugged. "I will defeat her. No need to worry, Clarke."

"No need to worry? Lexa, you were barely able to walk down here without collapsing. What the hell makes you think you're in any condition to fight?"

"I will not run away. I cannot."

Clarke walked over to Lexa kneeling in front of her and holding her hands. " It's not running away. It's bidding your time until victory is assured. Losing a battle to win a war. Please Lexa."

Lexa looked into Clarke's pleading eyes and sighed defeatedly. "Where would I go?"

Lincoln stepped forward. "Heda, I know a place. I'm sure Luna would help. You would be safe and undisturbed to recover fully"

Lexa got lost in thought about her options until Clarke touched her cheek dragging her gaze to blue eyes. 

"You're in no condition to fight, Lexa. What good are you to our people dead? "

"If I go I cannot be around to protect you."

"I'll be fine. Octavia and Indra won't let anything happen to me."

Lexa sighed. "Alright. Lincoln and I will leave tonight when most of Polis sleeps."

Around 1am the Clarke, Lexa, Octavia, Lincoln, Indra and Abby were gathered in the stables preparing to leave. everyone walked outside giving Clarke and Lexa time to say their goodbyes.

Lexa was scowling at the cart she would be forced to ride in. It was unfitting of a commander. Clarke smiled and walked over to her.

"Come on its not that bad. Not many people are going to see you anyway."

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke swallowing down her sadness. The thought of not seeing her skygirl for however long this took was tearing her apart inside but their people came first. Clarke needed to stop Pike and Lexa needed to heal and find out what she could about Alie. "Stay safe, please. I can't lose you."

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck. "I've managed to survive so far. I'll be fine."

"You take it easy. The faster you heal the faster you can come back. I'll miss you every second."

"I'll miss you too, ai hodnes. I love you." She kissed Clarke long and tenderly. 

Clarke rested her forehead on Lexa's. "I love you too and this isn't goodbye it's until we meet again."

Lexa nodded and kissed Clarke one last time before crawling into the cart.

Clarke walked over to where Lincoln set upon his horse. "Try to make sure she rests."

Lexa summoned Octavia and Indra over to her. "I'm counting on you two to keep her safe."

"We'll protect her until our last breath, Heda."

Lincoln kicked his horse into motion and the cart started rolling off until four young bodies came running through the stable doors carrying bags and being chased by an exasperated Titus who had been allowed to live but been reduced to glorified babysitter. 

Lexa sat up in the cart. "Aden, Sif, Alain, Theo what do you think you are doing?"

The four nightbloods stopped by the cart shyly looking down. "We want to come with you to protect you, Heda."

Lexa huffed. "Fine. It will do you good to see some of the world." She turned to Titus. "I expect you to protect the remaining nathblidas. "

The Natblidas threw their packs in the cart and quickly saddled two horses. 

Clarke watched them ride away a part of her heart leaving with Lexa. She turned and mounted her own horse Octavia, Indra and Abby following her. It was time to save her people.


	12. Chapter 12

Abby Griffin walked through the halls of Arkadia contemplating how to help save her people from their inevitable destruction if they continued to follows Pike's ways. She was so lost in thought she didn't notice the man in question standing a few feet from her. 

"Dr. Griffin. I haven't seen you around in a couple of days. Not even at Marcus Kane's funeral. I expected you to be there. After all you've known each other for years."

Abby thought quickly. She couldn't allow her true feelings show and she knew Pike would be looking closely at her for any hint that she agreed with Marcus. He couldn't know she'd been in Polis for a few days, that she'd saved the grounder Commander's life. Her loyalties had to be seen to be to Pike. "Unfortunately I have been a bit under the weather. I thought it best to confine myself to my room until I was better. Marcus will be missed. Being on the ground is so very different to life on the Ark. It was difficult to see a good man become so corrupted. Now if you'll excuse me I think I'll rest a bit before my afternoon rounds."

Abby made her way to her quarters quickly shutting the door. She leaned against it and let out a sigh of relief. Hopefully soon Pike would be gone. A second later there was a knock on the door that caused her to jump. 

She opened the door the find Raven standing there and quickly pulled her inside and into a hug. During the time that she'd known Raven the girl had become like a second daughter to her. "How are you?"

"I should be asking you that Abby. You were far closer to Kane than I was." She pulled back and sit down in a chair rubbing her leg. "So how was Polis?"

"It was fine. Lexa is alive although she has had to go into hiding. Some of the Ice Nation is still loyal to their slain queen and are planning to overthrow Lexa. She's hiding somewhere safe until she has recovered and can fight. "

"And what about the coalition until then who runs it?"

"I'm not sure. It's not something we need to worry about right this second. Pike is still our priority. Clarke, Octavia and Indra are hiding in a cave not too far from here. You and the others should have a meeting soon to decide our next steps." 

"I'll radio Octavia when I get back to my room. Something else we should be worried about." She holds up the chip she had gotten from Jaha. 

"Please tell me you're not considering taking that thing."

"Not a chance. I'm in pain not desperate. The whole thing seems off. I asked Jaha what Wells would have thought of it and he just stared blankly at me. It's like he'd forgotten his own son."

"Thelonious would never forget Wells. He meant to world to him."

"I know. The chips are supposed to remove pain right except I think they remove more than just physical pain. They remove emotional pain also and the way they do that is to remove or hide your memories. They don't just remove the bad memories though but all memories. To do that they have to affect a person's brain big-time I just haven't figured out how yet."

"Do you think there's a way to remove them or reverse the effects?"

"I don't know. If I'm right and they do go directly to the brain there may not be a way to safely remove them so we need to prevent any more people from taking them. Meanwhile I'll go work on setting up that meeting. For what it's worth I'm really sorry about Kane." With a comforting squeeze to Abby's shoulder the mechanic lumbered along to her room.

 

Sinclair was bent down attaching the final wires of the new convertor. It had taken several days to cobble together a working one. "And let there be light." He turned to Pike with a grin. "Told you no big deal."

"It took you days."

"I had to piece it together with what we had here. It's not like I can go search for parts right now."

Pike nodded. "Did you discover what exactly caused the outage?"

"Just a simple overload. Old parts just a bit too much juice."

Sinclair reached over to attach the close the access door to the convertor and his sleeve pushed up just enough to reveal the healing burn on his arm.

"Hurt yourself, Sinclair?"

Sinclair swallowed before straightening up and looking at Pike with what he hoped was an neutral expression. "Oh this? Yeah thing sparked on me pretty good when I was building it. Hazard of the job. I should be able to salvage some parts from the old convertor so I'll take it back to the shop with me."

"Can I have a look at it first? If you don't mind that it."

"No. of course not, Chancellor. Just have someone bring it to the shop later."

Sinclair walked away quickly and released a deep breath once he was back inside the Ark.

 

Monty, Harper, Miller, and Raven all gathered by a the secret tunnel that led out of Arkadia. They'd waited until most of camp slept. They were just about to climb into the tunnel when Bellamy came running around the corner.

"Wait. You're going to meet O and Clarke aren't you. Take me with you."

The group looked at each other clearly unclear on if Bellamy could be trusted.

"I was wrong to follow Pike and I want to help. He trusts me. I can be your inside man."

The group thought about it before nodding and crawling through the tunnel.

Once safely away from sight of its walls Miller grabbed Bellamy and handcuffed him and then blindfolded him. "You'll excuse us if we can't trust you. So you can come with us but you'll stay like that so we know you can't hurt us."

"I understand. I'm sorry guys."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy meet again. What will happen? A little hint. Princess ain't happy.

After a long walk through the forests surrounding Arkadia the group arrived at a large cave whose entrance was well camouflaged by trees and brush. They entered to find the cave walls glowing with the light of a fire. Octavia and Indra were sharpening their weapons while Clarke tended to what looked to be a large pot of stew over the fire.

Miller carefully dragged Bellamy forward and removed his blindfold. Bellamy's eyes barely had time to adjust to the light before Indra charged at him and started landing hard punches to his face and body. 

Clarke quickly jumped up between them pulling Indra back. "em pleni, Indra." Indra huffed before marching back over to Octavia. Clarke turned back toward Bellamy. "What are you doing here? Spying for Pike so you can get all our people killed?"

Bellamy swallowed. "No. I was wrong. I want to help you set things right."

Indra rushed towards Bellamy again. "My army was sent to help keep your people safe and you slaughtered them while they slept like a coward. We do not require the help of a boy trapped in a man's body."

Clarke placed a calming hand on Indra's shoulder. "Go stand guard outside. I'll deal with this."

Indra glared at Bellamy for a few more seconds before giving Clarke a stiff nod and angrily grabbing her weapons and stomping outside.

Bellamy let out a sigh of relief before holding his still bound hands up in front of him. "Thanks. Can you get these things off now?"

Clarke looked at Bellamy for a moment before shaking her head. "Considering you handcuffed me when I came to you as a friend for your help, no, I think we'll leave them on."

"Come on, Clarke. I'm sorry. I messed up I realize that now. I want to help."

"And you think you can say sorry and I'll forgive you that easily. You and Pike have dragged us to the brink of war. You almost got Lincoln killed..." She swallowed heavily remembering the pain of thinking she'd lost Lexa. " You almost got Lexa killed. We had peace. Our people could have begun to prosper before you ruined it. And why?"

Bellamy stiffened at the mention of the Commander. "How can you trust her after she left us like that? She will always pick her people over you, over us."  
"We are her people now. I'm so sick of you and some of our people acting like we're better than the grounders. We're not. We've all done horrible things to survive. Lexa made the only choice she could have at Mt. Weather." Bellamy scoffed at that and Clarke glared at him. "Can you honestly say you would have made a different choice in her position. Her army would have been slaughtered if they attacked and the prisoners we were there to rescue would have been executed the moment she did. The grounders have been at war with Mt Weather for a century. They lost thousands. So yeah when they offered her a deal she took it. Her people were spared and would be left alone all she had to do was sacrifice us. We did far worse to save our people that day. Lexa wants peace. She could have sent an army to wipe out Arkadia but she didn't. She's giving us time to fix it ourselves."

"You abandoned us, Clarke. You abandoned me. We killed everyone and you just walked away. You chose the Grounders over your own people."

"I didn't chose the Grounders over anyone. I couldn't stay. Arkadia would have felt like a prison if I stayed. I needed time to deal with what happened."

"I pulled that lever too. I needed my friend around."

"You helped yes but I made the decision. Those deaths are on me. We had no choice and I've accepted that. I left thinking our people would be okay. They had you. They didn't need me anymore. Obviously I was wrong."

"I was just trying to keep everyone safe. Gina died and I lost it a little. I want to help. Pike trusts me. We can use that. I need us to be okay again."

"Not everything is about you. I can't trust you. You have to earn that back and I can't let you help just because you need to feel better."

Bellamy nodded before lowering himself to a nearby rock and Clarke walked out of the cave needing a moment alone.

 

Raven found Clarke sitting by a stream and handed her a bowl of the stew. "Pretty good stuff. Who knew you could cook so well."

Clarke accepted the bowl while Raven lowered herself to the log beside her. "Living in the wilderness alone for months makes you pick up a few things."

"Can't believe Indra follows your orders now."

Clarke shrugged. "I did save her life and the Commander's. She just had to respect me I guess."

They sit in silence for a few moments before Raven spoke again. "I've missed you, Griff. Place wasn't the same without you."

"I would think you would have been happy to see me go. You hated me after Finn."

"I was angry for a long time but I'm over it. The only one responsible for Finn's death is Finn. You saved him in the only way you could that wouldn't get us all killed. I get why you felt you had to leave but you're not alone." Raven smiled. "So you and the Commander huh?"

"Raven, don't start. She's not a bad person."

Raven held up her hands in surrender. "I didn't say she was. I'm not against it. She doesn't seem human at all but you're right we've all done things we're not proud of. I'm tired of fighting. If you trust her I trust her. You're the reason we've survived this long and if anyone deserves happiness it's you."

Clarke smiled gratefully at Raven. "What happened with you and Wick by the way?"

Raven lowered her gaze to the ground. "He deserves better than someone like me."

"Shouldn't that be his choice. You deserve to be happy too."

Raven shrugged. "Come on. Let's get back to the others. We have plans to make."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHORS NOTE: Honestly I hated what they did to Bellamy's character in season 3. (Okay O hated most of season 3) He had grown so much is season 2 and they made him go about a 1000 steps backwards. I think his heart was in the right place and I think his actions could be blamed on him suffering from PTSD over Mt Weather. Clarke blamed and tried to hate Lexa for it. Bellamy blamed all grounders and Clarke. I'm not saying his actions were right by any means just trying to understand his motivations. I hated how easily Clarke forgave him on the show. His own sister beat the crap out of him and disowned him but Clarke acted like nothing happened. I understand she needed all the help she could get with the alie situation but hello his actions led to the death of the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	14. Chapter 14

I decided to share this story because I thought others would enjoy it as I have enjoyed letting the story develop in my head. Unfortunately negative comments and attitudes have me very close to abandoning publishing further chapters and deciding to keep the story just in my head. Writing is intended for me as an escape from life. I certainly don't need it adding to my stress and depression. I may decide to continue but for now I'm just not inspired to write. To those who have been supportive and kind thank you.


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